It’s been 90 days since the Seahawks provided us with one of the most boneheaded endings to the Superbowl we’ve ever seen – WHY DIDN’T THEY RUN #BEASTMODE ?
Anyways, it all starts over tonight! Tonight, everyone is equal – unless your Cleveland or New Orleans who both have that ever coveted 2nd, first round pick!
Your Bro’s have been in the HB factory pounding the boards, listening to the experts and screaming at every mock draft put out. Now it’s our time to let you guys know who we think will be wearing what jersey come Kickoff Sunday this season!
This was clearly the obvious pick! Winston will thrive in Tampa being able to enjoy home cooked meals. Our guess, crab legs.
The sexy choice would be a blockbuster deal involving San Diego sending Rivers to Tennessee for this slot and grabbing Mariotta. Don’t see that happening though.
3. Jacksonville Jaguars: Dante Fowler, Jr., OLB, Florida
The Jags went offense last year. That won’t be the case here. They need to lock up a young defensive stud as they look to secure the other side of ball this year.
4. Oakland Raiders: Kevin White, WR, West Virginia
The Davis’ love speed. Who better than the blazer from this year’s combine? Our first shocker, White over Cooper as the first WR taken.
5. Washington Redskins: Bud Dupree, OLB, Kentucky
Come on, it’s Washington, they’ll mess it up.
6: New York Jets: Marcus Mariota, QB, Oregon
Whether it’s here or sooner, Gang Green will take Mariota.
7. Chicago Bears: Amari Cooper, WR, Alabama
Looking to replace the veteran, Brandon Marshall, Chicago gets a steal here because of OAK taking White.
8. Atlanta Falcons: Vic Beasley, OLB, Clemson
ATL is known for their high flying offense but with a new leader at the helm from Seattle, it’ll be time to strengthen that D.
9. New York Giants: Andrus Peat, OT, Stanford
Eli is tired on throwing from his ass every time he drops back – this is a no brainer!
10. St. Louis Rams: Randy Gregory, OLB, Nebraska
Even though they are stacked in the pass rushing department, what’s another toy in the chest for Coach Williams?
11. Minnesota Vikings: Brandon Scherff, OL, Iowa
Even though we don’t think he’ll be blocking for AP, the Vikings need to insure their 2nd year QB remains upright
12. Cleveland Browns: DeVante Parker, WR, Louisville
The loss of Josh Gordon (again!) leaves the door open for CLE to jump on this freaklete!
13. New Orleans Saints: Danny Shelton, NT, Washington
Even hough they lose Graham to SEA, this division is improving on offense so any help to get to the QB is always welcomed. Besides, they’ll have another chance to snag a playmaker later.
14. Miami Dolphins: Shane Ray, OLB, Missouri
Could be another reach because of the recent incident with Ray, but losing their edge rusher Jordan to a season long suspension, MIA will look to give their new Batman his Robin.
15. San Francisco 49ers: Arik Armstead, DL, Oregon
We have no clue what’s going on in SF these days so we’ll just let the experts pick this one!
16. Houston Texans: Breshad Perriman, WR, UCF
AJ is gone, Foster is aging, and Watt can’t catch EVERY TD – HOU looking to add fire power!
17. San Diego Chargers: La'el Collins, OL, LSU
SD usually gets it right, let’s just hope Collins can help find justice for his slain girlfriend – RIP
18. Kansas City Chiefs: Trae Waynes, CB, Michigan State
Although the help is needed at WR, badly – good ol’ Coach Reid gets himself a great player to help fill the void of Eric Berry.
19. Cleveland Browns: Eddie Goldman, DT, Florida State
CLE got their sexy on by picking Parker in the top 10, so now they go for need to help dominate the middle in a jam packed AFC North.
20. Philadelphia Eagles: Phillip Dorsett, WR, Miami
See comment for pick 15, but take out SF and add PHI.
21. Cincinnati Bengals: D.J. Humphries, OT, Florida
Dalton is nowhere near his best when he’s in a hurry – Humphries should help.
22. Pittsburgh Steelers: Marcus Peters, CB, Washington
Safest pick for PIT – go figure!
23. Detroit Lions: Malcom Brown, DT, Texas
Donkey-Kong Suh ain’t here anymore. Brown will hear it quickly if he can’t make an immediate impact!
24. Arizona Cardinals: Todd Gurley, RB, Georgia
Losing out on the Adrian Peterson sweepstakes, AZ proves Gurley’s worth by making him the first RB off the board.
25. Carolina Panthers: Cedric Ogbuehi, OT, Texas A&M
We all saw Cam’s jersey throughout the season last year – homeboy needs some linemen.
26. Baltimore Ravens: Melvin Gordon, RB, Wisconsin
Ray Rice isn’t walking through the door again in Baltimore – allow us to usher in the Gordon era!
27. Dallas Cowboys: Kevin Johnson, CB, Wake Forest
Before Jerry Jones pulls his magic and lands AP, he’ll take the only need DAL has in the first round – help with trying to contain OBJ twice a year!
28. Denver Broncos: Jake Fisher, OT, Oregon
DEN will be looking to keep the General healthy during his last ride
29. Indianapolis Colts: Ereck Flowers, OT, Miami
Loading up with some offensive power this offseason, INDY is now focused on keeping their #1 asset untouched before they pay that man!
30. Green Bay Packers: Jalen Collins, CB, LSU
Olivia Munn is a smoke show – well done Aaron.
31. New Orleans Saints: Nelson Agholor, WR, USC
He’s not Jimmy Graham, but then again who is?
32. New England Patriots: Landon Collins, S, Alabama
Oh look, Landon Collins gets to walk off the campus of the best college football team and stroll right through the door of the best team in the NFL – lucky little bastard.
So what do you think? Do you like who we have your team drafting or did we set you back another year?